What I’m learning in college…

in no particular order…

• I sound like a dork when I speak Chinese
• I am an incredibly talented procrastinator
• In order to behave like a normal human the next day, more than 3 hours of sleep are required in a night
• I LOVE LOVE LOVE my major
• I can handle more than I let myself think I can
• I am so blessed to have found a church that I like so much
• Dorm activities are usually quite ridiculous
• I  act like a giddy little kid when I find out that I have my plane tickets to Singapore for Christmas
• The fact that I’m in college freaks me out…still
• Denton weather is much better than Lake Jackson weather
• Freud was a crazy dude
• Quantitative Psychology is 100% a math class…don’t let the word psychology fool you
• My philosophy class makes my head spin but I love it
• Spending large amounts of money stresses me out…actually spending money in general stresses me out
• Trying to hop off of the top bunk isn’t a genius plan…using the ladder is really the best option
• Skype is incredible
• There is just something about this school that I will never be able to explain but I love it…as my stats professor says “UNT has flava and swagger”
• You know your professor is cool when he uses the words “flava” and “swagger” on a normal basis
• I have some pretty incredible parents
• 11:00 at night is the only appropriate time for fire drills, tornado drills, etc…
• I actually like my classes…somewhat proof of how much I like my major
• Organizing/cleaning my dorm can make a bad day much better…so can coffee
• Being able to use psychology terms in a normal conversations makes me feel like a big nerd…but I really like it
• Instant coffee is NEVER worth it
• Having to rely fully on God gives me more peace then trying to handle it on my own…a lesson I wish I could have learned earlier

Alright now that I’ve made a pointless list in hopes of procrastinating I’m going to go read for class and head to bed…

College so far…

I’m in college…you know how I know?

1) I have a total of two outlets in my room and our extension cords we’re “confiscated”…we’ve gotten REALLY creative

2) I’m staying up WAY too late and not getting up for class until 30 minutes before I have to walk out the door.

3) I’m sharing a bathroom with 4 girls

4) I tried to take a nap yesterday but was not able to because some awesome person decided to blast awful rock music through the entire hall

5) I took all of my dirty laundry to my aunt’s house on Sunday because I didn’t want to pay to use the laundry room here

6) I’m too lazy and cheap to go to the store and buy chip clips so I’m using bobby pins

7) I sleep in what I plan on wearing to class

8 ) I’ve considered going to the gym about 500 times but I always choose to watch a movie instead

9) I’ve been forced into my first late night hall meeting

10) I’ve been at college for a week and a half and I’m road tripping this weekend!

But to be serious college has been great so far! It has taken some adjusting but I think I’m finally settling into a routine and figuring out how all of this is going to work for me. As of today I have gone to all my classes and I think I lucked out as far as professors and classes go. Of course this is only after a week and I could have another opinion next week but for now I think I’m going to have a decent semester. I also tried a church on Sunday that I really liked and the best part is its only 5 minutes from my dorm.

So now I’m going to finish getting ready and go to my last two classes of the week. Then to celebrate surviving the first full week of classes, Mindy and I are going to College Station to see some friends and go to the first football game!! So excited!

Happy Birthday Mom!

 

Today Mom turns one year older but of course one year wiser!! I hate that I am so far away and can’t spend the day with her and my family celebrating her birthday but I know that they will have a great day!

Mom, I LOVE you!  Like I said I hate that I’m not there with you today but we’ll just have to have birthday cake or something via skype!  I hope you have a wonderful day and I couldn’t be more thankful to have you as my mom!!

P.S. there was another picture I wanted to use but it had some serious red eye going on. No, I didn’t fix the red eye yet but its your birthday so I chose another picture for the post proud of me?

Looking forward and looking back

I leave Singapore in less than a week and it’s going to be a complete mix of emotions. There is a lot about Singapore I’m going to miss but there is also a lot I’m ready to get back to in the states.

What I’m looking forward to in the states…

I can’t wait to get into my car (or Dad’s car when he reads this) and just drive. Get in the car, drive the car to a parking lot, park it there and walk into the building. No busses, MRT or taxi necessary.  And one of the first places I will probably drive to is Target…I have missed my Target shopping trips!

I am also excited about eating some good food. I am ready for some GOOD Mexican food more than anything. My parents really like the food here but I have been instructed by both to eat enough Mexican food for them too…I’m not complaining.  There are a lot of restaurants that I want to eat at when I get back but if I get my Mexican food and some Chick-Fil-a pretty early on I’ll be a happy camper. 

I am also ready to see friends and family that I’ve been missing. I’m going to be in LJ for a couple of days right after I get back so I’ll get to see some family and friends that I won’t get to see for a while after school starts. I can’t wait to catch up with everyone and see them face to face. Skype has been wonderful but I’m ready for hugs and conversations in person.

Things I’m going to miss in Singapore…

I’m going to miss some of the food here. To my surprise I have found some food here that I really like. Amber’s Restaurant is a family favorite and I’m going to miss their incredible Indian food. I’m definitely going to be on a search for Indian food equivalent to Amber’s in the States. I’ll also miss the Hawker centers. I hated them at first but my adventurous side came out and I’ve found good CHEAP food that I really like at every center we’ve tried.

I’m going to miss all the stories we have at the end of every day. Singapore has certainly not been a boring place to live. Going back to the states and being able to communicate without having to translate every word from Senglish is just not going to be as fun. The post-offices will seem boring and just plugging something straight into the wall without worrying about it blowing up will seem to simple.

More than anything in Singapore I am going to miss my family. I have gotten to experience a lot of the “new” with them but I’m sure there is still more to come and I hate that I won’t be here for those moments.

I’ll miss family dinners around the dinner table or in front of the TV. I’ll miss movie nights and game nights. I’ll miss fighting with Jake and Anna. I’ll miss being sarcastic and messing around with Dad to the point where it annoys Mom…and shopping trips and pedicures without Mom and Anna just aren’t going to be the same.

Leaving is going to be incredibly hard and I’m pretty sure the days following are going to be hard on me emotionally. Goodbyes have NEVER been my thing, I’m bad at them and they are usually filled with unnecessary amounts of ugly crying. Not only are these goodbyes going to be hard but these goodbyes are filled with lots of unknown. Being this far away from each other is completely new territory for all of us. Skype is going to become our best friend. I know it won’t be the same and I’m sure some days will be worse than others. But those moments I miss all of them so badly will make getting back over here to see them SO much sweeter. I dread the goodbyes but I don’t doubt for a second that God has my family and me right where He wants us.

So…I will head back to the states and look forward to everything there. I’ll eat lots of comfort food, shop at Target and probably buy a new pair of shoes or something. I will start college and a life that I’m starting on my own. I will look forward to hearing about the adventures my family will be having in Singapore…and most importantly I’ll look forward to the hellos and hugs in the Singapore airport when I get to come back and see them!

It doesn’t have to make sense

I have sat down to write this blog way to many times. I haven’t been able to find the words that I want to say and that isn’t like me.  I have been home from Kenya for a week now and my mind has been spinning. I came home last year completely changed and I knew that Africa was where my heart was. I could explain, to my family and friends, what I experienced and how God was working in my life and in Kenya. But this year has been completely different. God STILL changed me and my heart is STILL very much in Africa but I can’t seem to explain exactly what I am feeling. When I try the words don’t make sense and it’s frustrating.  

I have spent all of this week trying to make sense of it all. But after a certain amount of trying I realized something huge….maybe it isn’t supposed to make sense right now.

Last year I came home and told my stories and showed my pictures. I explained to my family and friends how God worked in my life and how I was a different person because of it. I put my memories in my scrapbook, hung my pictures all over my wall and started moving on with the rest of my year. I definitely missed being in Africa but all I had to do was look around my room or thumb through my scrapbook and I was taken back there for a little while. But I realize now that I only allowed myself to be taken back to the small stuff. In those moments of reminiscing I was taken back to individual moments of my trip and never the big picture. I never once asked God what HE wanted me to remember from my trip. I hate saying it but I started to forget how much God had done in my life spiritually.

This year I came home and told my stories and showed my pictures. This year I wasn’t, and still haven’t been able to; explain how God worked in my life. BUT…I’m done trying to explain it. I think that maybe this is God’s way of not letting me forget. Last year I pushed everything that I experienced spiritually pretty far to the back of my mind because it all seemed to make sense. But this year I can’t explain it and I can’t make sense out of it. I can’t tie everything up in a nice neat bow, take it to God and say…”Here’s what I learned this year I’ll be waiting for what you do next year.”  Right now I’m taking myself to God a complete mess and saying…”Show me what I’m supposed to see here, because this one is beyond me.”

I never like this feeling; the feeling of restlessness and the feeling of not being in control. But I know that I need to feel this way. I need to step back and let God show me what I need to see. I need to realize that I can’t always figure it out on my own. I need to focus on God and not me. I have a lot of questions right now but God has the answers. By searching for those answers I know it will be harder for me to forget what God has done, and is doing, in my life.

So as frustrating as this week home has been, I end it feeling at peace. There is a reason for everything not making sense and I know God has a plan. I just have to give up control and let God show me what the next step is.

“(God) determined the times set for (men) and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though He is not far from each one of us.”                                               -Acts 17:26-27

Back From Kenya

This years Kenya trip was incredible. God did SO many cool things and I really had a blast being there. Kenya is one of my favorite places on Earth and being back there felt great!! I wrote in my journal the first day…”I’m so glad to be back here. I let out a sigh of relief the second we landed and I feel so at peace being back in a place that I LOVE so much.”

One thing that was super important to me on this trip was getting to see Isiki again. The first day everytime I saw any article of red clothing I got excited. Then when it wasn’t her I would remind myself that even though she was wearing red last year she probably wouldn’t be wearing red again, and there really wasn’t a guarantee that I would see her. But our first day out at the school we were doing introductions in front of everybody and I saw what I assumed was here playing off in the distance. When she came closer I realized it definitely was her and I pointed her out to Dedee and Jamie who were standing nearby. When Isiki saw me she started pusing through kids trying to scoot closer to me. When we finished introductions it was all I could do to keep myself from knocking her over with a hug. It was SO good to see her, and she WAS still wearing red I also got the chance to meet her mother and grandmother. It was a neat experience and I felt really blessed to have met some of her family. Leaving her was even harder this time, though. She was older and definitely knew that my tears meant I had to go. It felt so good to know that she remembered me and we still had a connection but that also made it harder for me to leave. Meeting her family and building a relationship with them also made it harder to leave. Goodbye with her was one of the hardest goodbyes of the trip. But I had to tell myself it wasn’t goodbye forever; I know I will be back and get to see her again. She is someone who is always on my mind and I can always count on pictures of me and her putting a smile on my face!

The second thing that was important to me was meeting mine and Aubrey’s kid that we sponsor through Compassion. His name is Mzungu and we have sponsored him for three years now. We have wanted to meet him for a while and we were so excited that it was finally going to work out. It was good to meet him but the first hour or so was a little rough. The first meeting was a little awkward because none of us knew what to expect and he didn’t speak much English. He had to spend the night before in Nairobi because he lived so far away. When we finally got there to see him he was homesick and overwhelmed. He cried a couple times during lunch and didn’t take a bite of his food. But then we decided to give him the gifts we brought and he quickly warmed up to us We got to hang out some more at the Giraffe Center and we had a blast. It started off rough but it was SO good to finally meet him!!

Another favorite moment on the trip was seeing two girls that our family loves very much. Our family met and fell in love with Mercy, Gladys and Rahab last year when they stayed at our house with the Daraja Children’s Choir. While we were in Nairobi we went to Havilla and I got to see Rahab again. Gladys was not there, she was at something for school. But getting to see Rahab was great and it was hard to say goodbye to her again. We also got to see Mercy again. We have been sponsoring Mercy for a while now and had been told that we wouldn’t get the chance to see her because she is away at school. But Phoebe from Brightpoint was SO awesome and suprised us by bringing her to see us at Giraffe Center. Jake and I were both so excited to see her and spend some more time with her. Goodbyes with her were hard too but the time we got to spend with her was great!

There are so many cool things and stories that happened but I will post some of those into another blog. God really did some amazing things this trip, not only at Endana, but in my life. I wrote in my journal the last day…”I needed this trip so badly and I am reminded of how much I love Africa…but this trip and what I have experienced hasn’t been easy to put into words. It was what I expected but then again it wasn’t. Being here was so easy, but then at times it was so hard. Some of the things I saw caught me off guard and tore me apart. But other things I saw healed me and filled the part of my heart that has been missing since the last time I was here.  I can’t begin to sufficiently explain what I have experienced here but I can explain that God is at work here, because there is proof of it. He knows what his plans are for this place and I have a feeling they are nothing short of incredible.”

Here we go!

Its finally here!!! Jake and Me are flying out in a few hours. We leave from Singapore early Friday morning at 2:25, which ends up being about the same time the rest of our group leaves from Houston on what is their Thursday afternoon. I am getting a little bit nervous but more so excited. I can’t wait to be back in Africa! Please keep our team in your prayers. Pray that we allow God to use us however he chooses. Pray that we are changed through the exprience. Pray that we are able to continue the wonderful relationship with the people that we got to start last year. And as we travel pray for our trip and everyone’s saftey. I know God is going to do some awesome things on this trip and I can’t wait to see what they are.

Kenya Team 2009

Mom will be posting updates on www.hope4kenya.blogspot.com if you want to keep up with how and what our team is doing while we are there.

Thousands of miles away…

So we have been in Singapore for 10 days now and it seems like SO much longer.  I wake up every morning and have to remind myself I’m in Singapore! I live life right now in a country thousands of miles away from what I am used to. It is starting to sink in that this is Mom, Dad, Jake and Anna’s home for the next few years, and that mine is back in the states…Lame  We have had so much fun already and I know that my family is exaclty where they are supposed to be. I am so glad that my family has the opportunity to live here. It’s going to be a great experience for them. And I am even more thankful that I get to come visit a couple times a year.

The opportunity to spend the summer here has already changed me. In the short time that I have been here I’ve learned a lot about myself.

First, I love traveling. Ok so I really already knew that, but I’ve realized how much I really love it. Even flying in coach by myself was worth it to be able to travel. I leave for Africa with Jake on Friday and I get excited just thinking about getting on the plane, knowing that I am headed thousands of miles away for the second time this summer. How crazy is that? I get to go to more places in a summer then some people go in a lifetime. I told Mom and Dad last night how thankful I am that I have the opportunity to experience the world around me. I told them that being here makes me not even want to come back the states. I just want to pack my bags now, get on the next plane out and see what else is out there in the world.

Second, I don’t want to get “stuck” in my comfort zone for the rest of my life. The 5 of us landed in Singapore and hit the ground running. The pictures we had seen and things we had read were the only knowledge we had and the rest we were going to learn through experience. We woke up that morning after a few hours sleep, hopped on the MRT and started trying to figure this completely new place out. It was uncomfortable, and frustrating at points but we’ve already made it through 10 days and did pretty okay.  It just makes me look at how many people in the world become comfortable and are never willing to leave the place they are because it would mean leaving behind that comfort. I understand that leaving that comfortable place is hard, but I pray that that never stops me. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and regret passing up the opportunity to go somewhere and see something new. I want to live my life and not watch it pass me by.

Third, I will not die if I don’t have my life for the next 10 years planned out. I’m might stress out a little but lack of planning does not cause death!! I’ve realized that a definite plan is not always necessary. Sometimes a plan is needed, and when that time comes I am the first to be willing to make one. But sometimes flying by the seat of your pants, not knowing where you are headed next is the best way to go. I can’t be disappointed by plans that didn’t work out if there weren’t plans in the first place NO I am not saying that I am going to stop making plans, but I AM going to try and be more flexible with the plans that I do make. I wrote that last sentence and started singing “Jesus take the Wheel”. Ick…Yes I want Jesus to take the wheel, but I’ll let him do it without me singing Carrie Underwood. Pardon me while I go get another song stuck in my head…..

Anyway this 10 days has been a learning experience for me and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the summer holds. Kenya is the next big thing on my calendar and I have a feeling that God is going to do some incredible things while we are there. Please keep our team in your prayers and I’ll post about our trip we I get back.

You found me…

YAY! you found me….but I’m to tired to actually put effort into putting a good post together. So tomorrow I will get on and put a post together when my thoughts aren’t so scattered.